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I've given up milk, bacon, cheese and mayo. I am now trying to find a new way of being. I hate people on principle who eat my favorite foods. Words of encouragement accepted within. Thanks for stopping by.



Cheese changes people lives
Sunday, November 15, 2009

10 years ago on a sunny spring day, Drew and I were flipping around on the channels when he stopped on a lower public tv channel; the number of which completely eludes me right now. It was on that channel we watched a commercial which would change and evolve our lives in ways that we can't even begin to discuss.

The commercial we watched that day was about the Ontario dairy industry and to be even more detailed - cheese in particular. It was done in a reality-tv-security-monitor style which took place inside of a grocery store. A very older Scottish man and younger woman stared in the commercial.

The commercial made us laugh. The commercial made us create jokes that have lived on for the past 10 years. We quote lines from that commercial. That ONE commercial created a game between Drew and I; a sort of 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon commercials. THAT commercial created a very unnatural obsession with the woman we so lovingly call "The Cheese Girl."

You probably don't know her, but you've seen her (if you watch tv commercials). Over the past 10 years shes been a number of commercials and she's even done a couple of tv shows. We've been keeping track.

A couple of nights ago, while laying in bed having our "nightly chat under the blankets," Drew double dog dared me to finally, after all of these years to find out her name. Okai, he didn't actuallly double dog dare me, he said it couldn't be done. He said I could never do it... I through in the "I'll get you an autographed photo of her & get her to sign it <3 the cheese girl." Then I said "bet me, bet me I can't do it. Come on double dog dare me."

He laughed.

This is the journey of how I am going to do it.
My tecnique.
My findings.




and when it's all done, I am going to upload the SIGNED photograph image.

then you'll ALL clap, send me emails telling me how awesome I am.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 11/15/2009 07:02:00 PM, ,




whats that thing called again?
Thursday, August 13, 2009

Me: whats that called again? The whore tag?
Drew: what are you talking about?
Me: that thing on the back of girls bums. that inkie thing. The slut mark?
Drew: do you mean the "tramp stamp?"
Me: YAH! that's it! ha ha ha ha
Drew: hee hee the slut mark.

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 8/13/2009 08:56:00 PM, ,




wonders if...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009

... Spike Lee knows how much he comes off as being a douche bag in interviews. I can't tell if he IS a douche bag or if he just comes off as a douche bag because it's an interview and when you're doing an interview you are really selling something - and that's usually yourself.
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also, does anyone else want the Idomo guy to hot iron his beard?

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 7/29/2009 10:51:00 PM, ,




FULL OF AWESOME
Friday, June 26, 2009

THIS is the note Drew made and put up on his door at work yesterday before he left for his mini vacation or as we like to refer to it at my house "the sleepy time til you're rested nap time"

Of course it is full of awesome and made me laugh for a solid 15 minutes when he showed it to me.

This note alone should make you jealous that I have him all to myself and you don't.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 6/26/2009 07:50:00 AM, ,




Transcription of the 2005 Kenyon Commencement Address - May 21, 2005
Thursday, June 25, 2009

(If anybody feels like perspiring [cough], I'd advise you to go ahead, because I'm sure going to. In fact I'm gonna [mumbles while pulling up his gown and taking out a handkerchief from his pocket].) Greetings ["parents"?] and congratulations to Kenyon's graduating class of 2005. There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"

This is a standard requirement of US commencement speeches, the deployment of didactic little parable-ish stories. The story ["thing"] turns out to be one of the better, less bullshitty conventions of the genre, but if you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise, older fish explaining what water is to you younger fish, please don't be. I am not the wise old fish. The point of the fish story is merely that the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude, but the fact is that in the day to day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have a life or death importance, or so I wish to suggest to you on this dry and lovely morning.

Of course the main requirement of speeches like this is that I'm supposed to talk about your liberal arts education's meaning, to try to explain why the degree you are about to receive has actual human value instead of just a material payoff. So let's talk about the single most pervasive cliché in the commencement speech genre, which is that a liberal arts education is not so much about filling you up with knowledge as it is about quote teaching you how to think. If you're like me as a student, you've never liked hearing this, and you tend to feel a bit insulted by the claim that you needed anybody to teach you how to think, since the fact that you even got admitted to a college this good seems like proof that you already know how to think. But I'm going to posit to you that the liberal arts cliché turns out not to be insulting at all, because the really significant education in thinking that we're supposed to get in a place like this isn't really about the capacity to think, but rather about the choice of what to think about. If your total freedom of choice regarding what to think about seems too obvious to waste time discussing, I'd ask you to think about fish and water, and to bracket for just a few minutes your skepticism about the value of the totally obvious.

Here's another didactic little story. There are these two guys sitting together in a bar in the remote Alaskan wilderness. One of the guys is religious, the other is an atheist, and the two are arguing about the existence of God with that special intensity that comes after about the fourth beer. And the atheist says: "Look, it's not like I don't have actual reasons for not believing in God. It's not like I haven't ever experimented with the whole God and prayer thing. Just last month I got caught away from the camp in that terrible blizzard, and I was totally lost and I couldn't see a thing, and it was fifty below, and so I tried it: I fell to my knees in the snow and cried out 'Oh, God, if there is a God, I'm lost in this blizzard, and I'm gonna die if you don't help me.'" And now, in the bar, the religious guy looks at the atheist all puzzled. "Well then you must believe now," he says, "After all, here you are, alive." The atheist just rolls his eyes. "No, man, all that was was a couple Eskimos happened to come wandering by and showed me the way back to camp."

It's easy to run this story through kind of a standard liberal arts analysis: the exact same experience can mean two totally different things to two different people, given those people's two different belief templates and two different ways of constructing meaning from experience. Because we prize tolerance and diversity of belief, nowhere in our liberal arts analysis do we want to claim that one guy's interpretation is true and the other guy's is false or bad. Which is fine, except we also never end up talking about just where these individual templates and beliefs come from. Meaning, where they come from INSIDE the two guys. As if a person's most basic orientation toward the world, and the meaning of his experience were somehow just hard-wired, like height or shoe-size; or automatically absorbed from the culture, like language. As if how we construct meaning were not actually a matter of personal, intentional choice. Plus, there's the whole matter of arrogance. The nonreligious guy is so totally certain in his dismissal of the possibility that the passing Eskimos had anything to do with his prayer for help. True, there are plenty of religious people who seem arrogant and certain of their own interpretations, too. They're probably even more repulsive than atheists, at least to most of us. But religious dogmatists' problem is exactly the same as the story's unbeliever: blind certainty, a close-mindedness that amounts to an imprisonment so total that the prisoner doesn't even know he's locked up.

The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you graduates will, too.

Here is just one example of the total wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness because it's so socially repulsive. But it's pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. And so on. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real.

Please don't worry that I'm getting ready to lecture you about compassion or other-directedness or all the so-called virtues. This is not a matter of virtue. It's a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self. People who can adjust their natural default setting this way are often described as being "well-adjusted", which I suggest to you is not an accidental term.

Given the triumphant academic setting here, an obvious question is how much of this work of adjusting our default setting involves actual knowledge or intellect. This question gets very tricky. Probably the most dangerous thing about an academic education -- least in my own case -- is that it enables my tendency to over-intellectualize stuff, to get lost in abstract argument inside my head, instead of simply paying attention to what is going on right in front of me, paying attention to what is going on inside me.

As I'm sure you guys know by now, it is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive, instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your own head (may be happening right now). Twenty years after my own graduation, I have come gradually to understand that the liberal arts cliché about teaching you how to think is actually shorthand for a much deeper, more serious idea: learning how to think really means learning how to exercise some control over how and what you think. It means being conscious and aware enough to choose what you pay attention to and to choose how you construct meaning from experience. Because if you cannot exercise this kind of choice in adult life, you will be totally hosed. Think of the old cliché about quote the mind being an excellent servant but a terrible master.

This, like many clichés, so lame and unexciting on the surface, actually expresses a great and terrible truth. It is not the least bit coincidental that adults who commit suicide with firearms almost always shoot themselves in: the head. They shoot the terrible master. And the truth is that most of these suicides are actually dead long before they pull the trigger.

And I submit that this is what the real, no bullshit value of your liberal arts education is supposed to be about: how to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone day in and day out. That may sound like hyperbole, or abstract nonsense. Let's get concrete. The plain fact is that you graduating seniors do not yet have any clue what "day in day out" really means. There happen to be whole, large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration. The parents and older folks here will know all too well what I'm talking about.

By way of example, let's say it's an average adult day, and you get up in the morning, go to your challenging, white-collar, college-graduate job, and you work hard for eight or ten hours, and at the end of the day you're tired and somewhat stressed and all you want is to go home and have a good supper and maybe unwind for an hour, and then hit the sack early because, of course, you have to get up the next day and do it all again. But then you remember there's no food at home. You haven't had time to shop this week because of your challenging job, and so now after work you have to get in your car and drive to the supermarket. It's the end of the work day and the traffic is apt to be: very bad. So getting to the store takes way longer than it should, and when you finally get there, the supermarket is very crowded, because of course it's the time of day when all the other people with jobs also try to squeeze in some grocery shopping. And the store is hideously lit and infused with soul-killing muzak or corporate pop and it's pretty much the last place you want to be but you can't just get in and quickly out; you have to wander all over the huge, over-lit store's confusing aisles to find the stuff you want and you have to maneuver your junky cart through all these other tired, hurried people with carts (et cetera, et cetera, cutting stuff out because this is a long ceremony) and eventually you get all your supper supplies, except now it turns out there aren't enough check-out lanes open even though it's the end-of-the-day rush. So the checkout line is incredibly long, which is stupid and infuriating. But you can't take your frustration out on the frantic lady working the register, who is overworked at a job whose daily tedium and meaninglessness surpasses the imagination of any of us here at a prestigious college.

But anyway, you finally get to the checkout line's front, and you pay for your food, and you get told to "Have a nice day" in a voice that is the absolute voice of death. Then you have to take your creepy, flimsy, plastic bags of groceries in your cart with the one crazy wheel that pulls maddeningly to the left, all the way out through the crowded, bumpy, littery parking lot, and then you have to drive all the way home through slow, heavy, SUV-intensive, rush-hour traffic, et cetera et cetera.

Everyone here has done this, of course. But it hasn't yet been part of you graduates' actual life routine, day after week after month after year.

But it will be. And many more dreary, annoying, seemingly meaningless routines besides. But that is not the point. The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this is exactly where the work of choosing is gonna come in. Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don't make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I'm gonna be pissed and miserable every time I have to shop. Because my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me. About MY hungriness and MY fatigue and MY desire to just get home, and it's going to seem for all the world like everybody else is just in my way. And who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are, and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line. And look at how deeply and personally unfair this is.

Or, of course, if I'm in a more socially conscious liberal arts form of my default setting, I can spend time in the end-of-the-day traffic being disgusted about all the huge, stupid, lane-blocking SUV's and Hummers and V-12 pickup trucks, burning their wasteful, selfish, forty-gallon tanks of gas, and I can dwell on the fact that the patriotic or religious bumper-stickers always seem to be on the biggest, most disgustingly selfish vehicles, driven by the ugliest [responding here to loud applause] (this is an example of how NOT to think, though) most disgustingly selfish vehicles, driven by the ugliest, most inconsiderate and aggressive drivers. And I can think about how our children's children will despise us for wasting all the future's fuel, and probably screwing up the climate, and how spoiled and stupid and selfish and disgusting we all are, and how modern consumer society just sucks, and so forth and so on.

You get the idea.

If I choose to think this way in a store and on the freeway, fine. Lots of us do. Except thinking this way tends to be so easy and automatic that it doesn't have to be a choice. It is my natural default setting. It's the automatic way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life when I'm operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the center of the world, and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world's priorities.

The thing is that, of course, there are totally different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic, all these vehicles stopped and idling in my way, it's not impossible that some of these people in SUV's have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive. Or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he's trying to get this kid to the hospital, and he's in a bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am: it is actually I who am in HIS way.

Or I can choose to force myself to consider the likelihood that everyone else in the supermarket's checkout line is just as bored and frustrated as I am, and that some of these people probably have harder, more tedious and painful lives than I do.

Again, please don't think that I'm giving you moral advice, or that I'm saying you are supposed to think this way, or that anyone expects you to just automatically do it. Because it's hard. It takes will and effort, and if you are like me, some days you won't be able to do it, or you just flat out won't want to.

But most days, if you're aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-up lady who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line. Maybe she's not usually like this. Maybe she's been up three straight nights holding the hand of a husband who is dying of bone cancer. Or maybe this very lady is the low-wage clerk at the motor vehicle department, who just yesterday helped your spouse resolve a horrific, infuriating, red-tape problem through some small act of bureaucratic kindness. Of course, none of this is likely, but it's also not impossible. It just depends what you what to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won't consider possibilities that aren't annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.

Not that that mystical stuff is necessarily true. The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're gonna try to see it.

This, I submit, is the freedom of a real education, of learning how to be well-adjusted. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't. You get to decide what to worship.

Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship -- be it JC or Allah, bet it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles -- is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings.

They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing.

And the so-called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so-called real world of men and money and power hums merrily along in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The freedom all to be lords of our tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most precious you will not hear much talk about much in the great outside world of wanting and achieving and [unintelligible -- sounds like "displayal"]. The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

I know that this stuff probably doesn't sound fun and breezy or grandly inspirational the way a commencement speech is supposed to sound. What it is, as far as I can see, is the capital-T Truth, with a whole lot of rhetorical niceties stripped away. You are, of course, free to think of it whatever you wish. But please don't just dismiss it as just some finger-wagging Dr. Laura sermon. None of this stuff is really about morality or religion or dogma or big fancy questions of life after death.

The capital-T Truth is about life BEFORE death.

It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:

"This is water."

"This is water."

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really IS the job of a lifetime. And it commences: now.

I wish you way more than luck.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 6/25/2009 09:54:00 AM, ,




who the fuck is this guy and why does he have MAD SKILLS!!!
Sunday, April 26, 2009

WHO IS THIS DUDE AND WHY DOES HE HAVE MAD SKILLS !!!

Dear: Dude with the mad skills,

Thank you for blowing my mind. It's been a while and to be perfectly honest, I needed a little mind blowing. You did it in the most romantic way too... with your MAD ARTSY MASTERY SKILLS.

Thats' hawt. Will you marry me?

love hugs and kisses
The Queen

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 4/26/2009 01:54:00 PM, ,




There is magic in the air
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I have magic back in my life.

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 4/22/2009 10:55:00 PM, ,




Timmy is a communist

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 4/22/2009 07:08:00 AM, ,




a line in the sand
Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Recently, I had something happen to me that really pissed me off.

I was so hurt and frustrated.

I tried REALLY hard not to be angry about it, I tried to be understanding and forgiving. My brother had even spoken to me about forgetting, forgiving and letting go - and I tried that but it didn't work.

I have thought about why I was so upset by the situation and why I got angry and have come to the conclusion that it comes down to mutual respect, courtesy and just manning up to what YOU are responsible for.

I KNOW the situation would have been different if the person had called or emailed me and said you know what I am sorry this has happened and that it has taken me so long to rectify this situation (because I have stuff going on in my life that is out of my control) but I am going to make this right for you because I was the one who took responsibility in the first place. And I am going to do that in "this time frame."

Cuz had they done THAT I would have waited indefinitely.

But that never happened.

And I have no idea why that never happened.

Since then, I have had a couple of people talk to me about possessions and those possessions JUST being possessions. And that in the grand scheme of things, possessions mean nothing. I get that but at what point do possessions become the metaphor for how you treat a person. Although, some people don't see a car as being a important item in a persons life (namely me) but what if you wrecked someones car and never gave that person money to fix said car? And what if that person didn't have enough money to replace that car? What if that car was the car they used to travel 50kms everyday to work. What if that car was the car someone used to make money to support their family and by wrecking it, you, by virtue of wrecking it was taking food out of their children's mouth? You'd feel pretty shitty. Or maybe you wouldn't because you didn't know that's how much that car meant to them.

I have learned a lot and had to make some hard decisions since this started. One of the things that I am taking out of this situation is how this person feels about me. Cuz if they had mutual respect for me and didn't think I was a shit head they would have called me and had THAT conversation with me because they knew I was understanding and flexible. But they didn't. They ignored my emails. Never called me and never talked to me about it. And that makes me sad. Sad that they didn't feel they could have that conversation with me, that I was WORTH that conversation and that they, as my friend could come to me and make things right.

On the one hand I am glad this has happened because I want people in my life who are adding to my world, have the same ideologies and want to share that with me and want to treat me the same way I treat them. Cuz when this happened I didn't freak out at all, I was understanding and forgiving because mistakes happen - it was when they showed me that I wasn't worth it that I started to freak out.

And I need to draw a line in the sand for shit like that, keep it on your side of the line.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 4/21/2009 08:52:00 AM, ,




Ashton what r u doing?
Friday, April 17, 2009

I like Ashton Kutcher. He's a pretty good guy. He made me laugh in "Punked" and I say, hey you wanna love a gorgeous cougar - go for it. But I gotta say Ashton you really let me down.

He's on twitter right now pulling some crazy contest on him getting 1 million followers and then he'll donate a bunch of mosquito nets to stop malaria.

I think it's a bunk punk.

I love that he wants to donate the nets. That's cool. And bringing attention to the malaria plight via a 2 year old twitter contest is old and done. I guess to some extent I expect him to be more "with the times." I think one of the things that makes me even crazier about this contest is this video. I keep watching it thinking that they DON'T LOOK cool at all. PLUS I think, if you're a kabillionaire why don't you just donate the money because you can. Why does he have to parade himself and his wife licking dog via the web? And is it just me or do they all sound and act drunk?

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 4/17/2009 07:07:00 AM, ,




I've never been kissed & I live with my cat pebbles - I AM GOING TO ROCK YOU
Thursday, April 16, 2009

so amazing

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 4/16/2009 06:50:00 AM, ,




You know you're a vegan . . . when
Monday, March 30, 2009

Last night as I we were clicking through the channels we stopped on X-weighted. The exercise guru was going through a new diet with this girl who didn't need to lose any weight (but she felt she was too big for her wedding or what ever) and she had a bunch of plates of food out on the counter to visually show the girl what her menu plan was going to look like and I shit you not, on one plate there was 4 SPEARS OF ASPARAGUS along with some other piddly veggies and 4 ounces of chicken. And I looked at Drew and said "WOW, that girl is going to starve" and Drew looks at me as says "I don't care about the chicken but AH CAN I HAVE MORE VEGGIES!!"

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 3/30/2009 07:38:00 AM, ,




Even I falter & need reminders that life is magical
Friday, March 20, 2009

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 3/20/2009 08:21:00 AM, ,




Being a vegan makes you take a BIG CRAZY shit in the first week
Friday, March 13, 2009

Everyone who knows me (and Drew) knows how much being a vegan has changed our lives. So, for the rest of you here is one of my favorite recipes. Feel free to eat ALL OF IT.

Red Lentil & Sweet Potato Soup

2 small onions - chopped
1/2 tea spoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
4 cups low sodium vegetarian broth
2 cups cubed peeled sweet potatoes
2/3 cup red lentils - rinsed
1 tea spoon lemon juice
white pepper to taste

cook everything until the sweet potatoes are soft and then blend the shit out of everything until it is smooth like a cream soup

makes 6 servings - 185 calories, 10 g protein, 36 g carbohydrates, 4 g sugar, 1 g total fat, 3% calories from fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 6 g fiber, and 100% goodness

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 3/13/2009 10:11:00 PM, ,




God loves us a lot
Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Me: You know being an Aries makes us special.
My brother: It's true, we really are special.
Me: We understand things about the world that other people don't get or even think about. Like giving to other people because it's the right thing to do.
My brother: And we have a magic power that makes us know things that other people just don't get. Like having loyalties to people who are important in your life and doing things to help them out, make their life better BY HELPING them - because you can. If you have the power you should use it.
Me: It's cuz we're the bosses of our own world, we make the rules. So, we know how to break them and the order of "the man" and how he tricks you into thinking you can't break them - but we know better.
My brother: Could you imagine if we weren't in charge of our own world, the craziness that would go on.
Me: I don't even want to imagine it, just thinking about maybe thinking about it is giving me the willies. I think I saw something dark in the corner, I feel very blair witchy right now. Did you see THAT?
My brother: I did. I know, lets make a list of all the things we love and then read them back to each other. When we make the list, lets just make the list till we exhaust ourselves with our love list. Lets not put limitations on the love list - lets just go for it. And let the love pour out.
Me: OKai!! That sounds like fun (claps), lets do that and then lets tickle each other till someone either laughs so hard drool comes out or laughs so hard their face and stomach hurts.
My brother: YaY for tickling!! (claps) . . . I love making lists.
Me: Me too. I also love cheese.
My brother: ME TOO. Did you know that GOD made cheese solely for the enjoyment of Aries.
Me: I believe it, GOD loves us LOTS.
My brother: I think I saw a dead sea scroll outlining something about that...
Me: I saw the same one JUST last week.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 3/10/2009 10:14:00 PM, ,




My new loves
Monday, March 09, 2009

I guess in my mind I think other people are doing the same things as me and believe the same things as me. Like not using/buying plastic. I consciously try to ONLY buy glass. I like glass. I also like metal. Here are some of my favorites.

Stuff to put food in
Store stuff in your fridge
Glass Water bottle
Stainless Steel Water bottle

I feel better knowing that chemicals aren't oozing into our bodies.

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 3/09/2009 06:40:00 PM, ,




over heard
Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Jessie: You know what fucking pisses me off?
Me: What?
Jessie: That someone like this, could put something like this up on etsy and IT SELLS. People actually pay for this shit.
Me: Show me.
Jessie: *turns her laptop so I can see the etsy site she's creepin*
Me: W O W. You're right, that is shit. It's cute but it's not really professional in any way shape or form. And NOT worth the money.
Jessie: Yah and you know what? I could do this fucking shit and put it up on etsy and get the fucking 20 bucks that this chick is getting and no one would be the wiser because PEOPLE ARE BUYING THIS SHIT.
Me: Yah, you should do that.
Jessie: I am. You should have seen the caterpillar I drew last night. It fucking rocked.

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/25/2009 03:02:00 PM, ,




Multiple
Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm not even willing to discuss the octuplets, unless you are willing to talk about the Duggars.
Nadia may have a distorted sense of how having multiple children is going to fill her love void, but Michelle is going to lose it on all of "hers" any day now and Jesus told her to do it.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/24/2009 03:45:00 PM, ,




canadianana
Saturday, February 21, 2009

Me: *watching opening credits of Zack & Miri make a porno* That makes me crazy, who would be stupid enough to wear a hockey jersey to bed. Like, that's just stupid. Polyester up against my skin while I sleep. Gross.
Drew: Ahhhh, *whisper* I don't know if you are aware of where we live or not but we could get kicked out of the country for even THINKING about talking about this.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/21/2009 05:49:00 PM, ,




getting ready
Saturday, February 14, 2009

It's called a chocolate cherry tomato, and you probably have never seen one or even heard of it. It's a heirloom seed and it's soooooooooooo gorgeous. I can't wait to grow it and eat it.

I'm getting ready for the summer time.

I think I have spring fever.

I think I am also glad that my life is better then it was only 2 weeks ago. Free from toxic things, people, and cheese. I feel free and soooooooooo much lighter. It's amazing what happens when you do some light cleaning around your temple, and get rid of (or at least don't fight against the storm) things that are only holding you down and back. Things are so much simpler around here and back to the NO DRAMA defcon level. With good ol'belly laughing and love. I have the things in my life that ARE TRULY IMPORTANT. <3 Mmmm love.

Thanks to those who shared their wisdom and showed patience.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/14/2009 02:57:00 PM, ,




THE BEST KITTEN VIDEO EVAAAAAAR
Thursday, February 12, 2009

MY brother sent this to me, and I'm glad that he knows what kinds of things will make me laugh and laff and laugh some more and then find myself laughing so hard that at one point during the laughing spit is coming out of my mouth but I am having a hard time wipping it away because I am laughing so hard ahahahahahahahaha

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/12/2009 06:45:00 AM, ,




THIS IS A RANT - turn the other way if you're not into that today
Sunday, February 08, 2009

I'm kinda pissed at the people who were pissed at me because I didn't double check my life with them to see if it was okay that I went to Bucharest. Not a, hey have a good time, be safe, don't talk to Romanian kidnappers who will put you in a prostitution ring, or don't eat the cabbage. No, all I get is "why the hell didn't you tell me." "You're just going to take off."

Hows about this, and I know this is going to hurt, but I don't tell you a lot of stuff.

And this is where my hurt and pissed'ness really stems for me. If you knew anything about me, you would have known about Bucharest and you would have known about Chile too. You'd know more then I have an unhealthy addiction with cheese. And you would know these things because you have talked to me, are in the process of building a relationship with me, you like having conversations and you're not just relying on reading my blog to "know me." Just to review, my blog is not a good way to "know me" or find out about me. My blog is lots of things, it's good entertainment and to a certain extent a small window into my life but it is not, I repeat, it is not good way to get to know me.

If you want to get to know me, you should call me on the phone, go out of coffee with me or join me in breakfast. You'd spend more time asking questions, listening and gawd forbid spending less time focusing on yourself. I want you to know something and this is going to come as surprise to you because I am NOT like most of the people around you - but I see YOU. You do not need to prove anything to me. I SEE YOU.

And just so you know . . . I am planning a trip to Barcelona, I have to go pee, and I am I going to read before bed.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/08/2009 07:56:00 PM, ,




I forgot how great this was

this video reminds me how I like living my life and how great I feel when I remember this is who I am.


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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/08/2009 07:17:00 PM, ,




dute in branza!
Friday, February 06, 2009

Which is go eat some cheese in Romanian (or something like that) I think it actually has something to do with eating cheese if you're an American. But that is neither here nor there. It's about cheese and that's ALL THAT'S IMPORTANT.

Last night after thinking that I would fall into a narcoleptic slumber in my hotel bed I took up an invitation to attend a romanian rave. Like what the fuck was I thinking? Seriously.

Okai, I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking "What the hell did I have to lose." I was tired, true, but the thought of hanging with a bunch of rave kids (at my age) seemed so impossible NOT to do. First, I'm hawt. Second I don't look my age and third, I had brought some killer boots JUST for this exact situation. Truth be told, I was hoping that I would get invited to a Bucharest rave - Romanian style. Even in Canada there are stories "on the street" about their raves. And fourth - I don't have any kids or anyone to answer to, I could do what ever I wanted . . . where ever. DUTE IN BRANZA!! And let me tell you I am eating A LOT of cheese. Along with weird fried things. And water, OMG fresh spring water, the likes that my lips have never touched in it's entire life.

First, I should tell you - the Romanians are NOT known for their laughing. I had a hard time telling jokes and being friendly with these people. (Nishna humour is LOST on these people). Secondly, you should know that Romanians like their booze and once drunk - laugh their asses off. I met two dudes Bogdan & Cosmin who told me that "they would show me a good time." My boots where working their magic. *wink wink* Thank gawd I remembered to bring them; not charge my camera battery but bring the boots. lol Where was Donna with her extra battery when I needed her.

First, we started off at Iancului and went along Pache Protopopescu. (this is in bucharest and did I spell this right??) Theres a bunch of girls standing on corners waving. Apparently, as Borgen tells it we'er not supose to stop and chat it up with them because it's not safe to get close because of something or other. There's bad men waiting or someone will steal you away or something about some fable with snow lepards. I'm not too sure what he was saying. His accent was REALLY thick. But it's bad, really bad.

We went to the Shaorma shop on a corner (I can't remember the name) and ate. There were A LOT of romanians talking about roma, politics, culture and football. Even here, guys are in love with their sports. Some of it was in english and most of it was in romanian. Everyone loves me because ... (see first list above) and they had a lot of questions for me about Canada. Cosmin, was quite the athority on "indians" and did A LOT of talking about cowboys and shot-em-outs. He also wanted me to make him some silver jewelery even though I kept telling him that was the N-A-V-A-J-O-S and I was NOT Navajos.

After we finished there we went along through the center is Bucharest, we past the university and saw a bunch more girls standing outside. I would bet to say that there's a far bit of "down low action" happening. But i don't have any real facts on that *wink smile* We kept driving because Cosmin said that we would be meeting people in the "meeting place." And meeting place did he mean. Seriously, if people "met" like this in the city I was from there would be NO COMPLAINING that there was NOTHING TO DO.

Then we hit the rave.

I don't really remember much after that . . . I did how ever wake up with some of clothes missing, dried jello on my face, and someone had written cheze <3 on my arm. I think I might have done that but I'm not sure. And I was holding what "I think" are Romanian phone numbers in my hand.

I'm thinking about coming home early. lol

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/06/2009 07:25:00 AM, ,




why romania?
Thursday, February 05, 2009

One of my sisters asked me "why romania" and normally my answer would be why not romania?

With that said, Romania is a great metaphor for how I am feeling right now; it is filled with monasteries, weird deep fried food, medieval towns, the blood sucker Dracula, horse n carriages spot the roads and a return plane ticket to Romania is cheaper then you think. $487 bucks.

So, why not Romania.

I just recently lost a friend of mine and when I say lost I mean she broke up with me. This occasionally happens to me. There are a handful of people I meet along the journey of life that are unable to step up in the friendship. They are normally not as emotionally evolved as their age would suggest and their biggest complaint about me is that my morals are too high to live up to.

I'm still not too sure what that means.

Being in Romania is helpful in the sense that I am able to ponder my place in the world, how I "fit," and inevitably my purpose. Also, being in another place allows me the freedom to BE IN THAT PLACE. Like a good book I am somewhere else. It brings perspective because everything is foreign and new - a person has to focus on themselves because it is really the only thing they know.

Now, you know my secret.

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 2/05/2009 07:02:00 AM, ,




Part of a lost generation
Saturday, January 31, 2009

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/31/2009 11:34:00 AM, ,




A day of home made cheese macaroni eats
Monday, January 26, 2009

Yesterday I spent the day with a friend of mine, her family and a good friend of hers. I got there at 11am and didn't leave until 7:30pm. 8 1/2 hours of chill'in like I haven't in some time and eating of homemade yumminess. None of it was vegan, I wasn't complaining.

I went so we could take pictures of her. After years of having the longest hair ever, she is cutting it this morning and donating it to locks of love. She wanted to be able to look back on this time (of long hair) and celebrate it.

We went out to lake superior, she in her lingerie and skivvies and me wrapped up in -40 long johns like no ones business.

We stood on the lake with the wind blowing hard she never complained once and in between shots we got in the car and warmed up and talked about how cold we really thought it was. Living in the north brings people together and good shoot locations, with excellent results.

I doubt you'll be able to tell her age. Living northern style and outside is definitely a recipe for good living.


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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/26/2009 07:35:00 AM, ,




But I have a brother in law whos cubean... i like everyone
Friday, January 23, 2009

I don't even know where to start with this fuck tard

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/23/2009 08:38:00 PM, ,




Dear Zappos Canada
Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Dear Zappos Canada,

I love you.
I want to marry you and have your babies.
In all my life I have never been so romanced and loved the way you did tonight. Tonight was magical. I am going to forever refer to this night as the night that I found true love.

I have to be honest and tell you that I have never been a big shoe lover. I do not run with the Sexy in the City shoe lovers crowd. I have never uttered "come here beautiful" when passing a Jimmy Cho window front.

Zappos... it has nothing to do with you, it's been me.

See, I'm a giant. And giants have giant feet and aside from boy shoes and weird work boots it is almost impossible to find a shoe in my size. I just never knew what you could offer me. How you could add to my life and not leave me rejected and deflated.

But I'm over that now. G A W D I am totally over that now. Now, I want to sing your praises. I want to tell everyone how special you are, how you have thought of me and my needs, how you want to give back to me, love me, take care of me and you want to show me EVERYTHING you are about. I love how you show me ALL aspects of your shoes and you do it so seamlessly!! Roll over images, could it get any better then that!! I think not. Extensive shoes description, sizing, selection, affordable pricing, colours, excellent reviews, AND a glossary for those first time shoe buyers.

Zappos I'm impressed.

I am SO IMPRESSED with you that I am going to exclusively do ALL of my foot covering shopping with ONLY YOU. Now, that we have met I couldn't even think of two timing you with someone else. Just the thought of shopping somewhere else send shivers up my spine.

Zappos, lets never break up, lets always love each other this way.

love hugs and kisses <3
The Queen

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/21/2009 06:26:00 PM, ,




Jukka (22)
Sunday, January 18, 2009

"I'm wearing a Diesel shirt, Nudie jeans and boots and a brooch from Vesa's wardrobe. I'm inspired by living my life in the moment."





via HEL LOOKS

side note: I'm obsessed with this web site.

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posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/18/2009 09:33:00 PM, ,




over heard @ our house this morning

ME: How you feelings this morning, is your belly any better today?
DREW: Yah, I just wanna let you know that I won't be eating anymore of that, so do with it what you will.
ME: Hey, 'member when you threw up all that bacon
DREW: Yah, that was a really dark time in my life.

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/18/2009 08:35:00 AM, ,




My broth'a
Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wishes we had call waiting.

He also was the only one who gave me books for Christmas. But that is neither here nor there. I love Edward.

Yesterday, he tried to get a hold of me so we could go out for breakfast but I was on the phone with one of our older sisters, chat'in up a storm. When I finally called him back (because he emailed me to tell me that he wanted to go for breakfast) he insisted that he would give us the three bucks a month it costs to get the calling waiting feature so he wouldn't have to go through that experience again of not being able to NOT get a hold of me because it was busy.

I laughed.

He was serious.

We don't have call waiting for a couple of reasons and none of those reasons have anything to do with being luddites. If you have ever been to our house, you will IMMEDIATELY be aware of how often our house phone rings throughout the day, evening, late evening. We're popular people. People like to talk to us and I'm sure if you are one of the people who have called here, it's quite possible you have also gotten a busy signal. It may have been busy for several hours. You probably got pissed too. You probably may have even said that (an angry voice inside your head or even out loud) that you would pay for an additional phone line or the call waiting feature.

Now, imagine if we did have that call waiting feature and YOU were the one on the phone with us, we'd be answering that beep every two minutes. We wouldn't be focused on talking with you now would we because we'd be answering that beep. Our conversation would be very cut up now wouldn't it? Okai, so now you say well, don't answer it all the time but what if we weren't talk to you and you were calling, you'd be pissed we didn't answer it and we'd be back at square one. And you were the one who paid for it, you'd be angry that we weren't using the feature you paid for and 3X12 is 36 and that's a lot of breakfasts isn't it?

Speaking of money 36 bucks. A person could be buying a lot of other things with 36 bucks, lets not even get into the interest (compound interest) you could collect on 36 bucks over the coarse of 2 years or five years for that matter. I won't even discuss the groceries, movies, or dinner dates you could be spending that money on; and for what, a little waiting?

We also don't have a cell phone.
But we won't get into that now. LOL

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/14/2009 08:08:00 AM, ,




FUCK WITH MY CAT and I'll do you up straight - when facebook goes bad, a moral story
Wednesday, January 07, 2009

I never get hate mail. People rarely take the time to email me to tell me that they hate something I said or did. So, this morning after I spent a good 20 minutes laughing to Drew about HOW FUNNY one of my sisters is and how I was going to write her a SUPER funny email message that would make her laugh so hard in the morning because it's really nice to get up to SUPER FUNNY emails and have a good laugh in the morning . . . I got this message.

Sara Bower wrote at 23:21
I hate cats more than anything so that is why I have to delete you from my friends list.
Seeing those ugly beasts dressed up everday makes me want to get sick.
In my opinion the only good cat is a dead one.
Its nothing personal



This what I wrote back. I seriously couldn't control myself when I was typing this up, I JUST reacted and clicked send message. The irony is that I don't even know who she is, how she got on my FB friends list, why she makes me react so passive aggressive with her tone, and NOW she's made my friends list an uneven number. I am going to have to delete someone OR add someone to even it out. G A W D

LMAO - that was funny right? Anyway. . . I'm such a bad ass. LOL It's so sad really.

THANK GAWD you had the inclination to make the move. I had been thinking about removing you from my friends list but didn't know how to do it without hurting your feelings, I know how sensitive you can be. And the fact that you did it because you hate cats actually give me a reason now to not want to be best friends with you. I don't do it willingly though; I REALLY LIKED YOU (in the best possible way another person could like someone like you) but it's a moral stand that must be taken; of course you understand (you have some really SOLID morals). I know how hard it must have been for you look at my cat/profile pictures day after day (I really was changing them too many times), dressed in fucked up costumes. Like who does that anyway? I'm sorry it hurt your eyes and your soul. I bet you probably even threw up in your mouth a little bit. G A W D !! I can't believe that I had been so selfish to upload those pictures of cute soft cats to my profile picture!! WHAT WAS I THINKING!! You've really given me pause for thought. I am thankful though, that you and I were able to spend THIS little bit of time together to really get to know each other and what life is all about, the meaning of true relationships and the end (sometimes) result of facebook connections. It has given me insight into the emotional and spiritual growth of individuals. Be well little one. <3>

posted by Queen of Light and Joy @ 1/07/2009 05:58:00 AM, ,